How can I celebrate Father's Day?

I'm a father, and a damn good one.  Some of that comes from having a screwed up family life.  My father was 18 when I was born and never in my life.  I met him for the first time about 10 years ago.  For a while things went pretty well.  What I learned from this past 10 years, biology does not make a father or parent.  I was an adult, so he viewed my life as set, and he could just be my distant friend, absolved of any responsibly.

While it didn't work out as I had hoped, my appreciation for a man who was not biologically related to me, by family standards was my step-grandfather, treated me from day one as his child.  It's probably why I adored him so much as a child, even though we would have a very turbulent ending to our relationship and I never saw him again before he died, he was the only stability for me in a wildly stressful childhood.  The man above is my biological father.  Pictures are deceiving.

So, when father's day came I had mixed feeling like I do at every holiday.  I don't like holiday's as they bring up how displaced I felt at holiday gatherings.  Being a father now has helped as I just make every holiday about my child and my responsibility to him to be my best.  I know I do too much, and I worry his life will be too easy because I'm so damn afraid he will experience anything awful.  That's something I'm working on, with difficulty.

Writing and reading have been my meditation for the past 10 years, which coincides with meeting my biological father for the first time....hum....

So, today, I chose to try my best to thank the man above for his DNA, and possibly steering me into who I am because of his absence.  My mom, who was mentally ill for the majority of her adult life died in January and this man had to know because his daughter see's my posts.  I didn't receive a "sorry"text, a postcard, a call, nothing.  That's just another example of his absolved responsibility.